Attendancers

The Buckford-Westingtons utilize only the finest and most robustly monied guests for our festivities, hand-selected by a proprietary sorting algorithm which guarantees no less than a 6.0 rating on Hubric’s  Standard Classiness Measure. Take a peek at the faces and astounding accomplishments of the party guests that the rest of the world will be pressing their faces against the glass to see this Spring.

Muffy HeadshotMariafe “MUFFY” Ariadne Buckford Westington Taylor Washington Clais (Host): Matriarch of the Buckford-Westingtons. Progressive with all things outside the family. Incredibly traditional when it comes to family history and her children. Oft-married, and even ofter-widowed, Muffy is renowned for her knowledge of Buckford-Westington lore and traditions.

Hadley HeadshotHadley Buckford-Westington (Host): Muffy’s younger brother, and de facto website manager. Alright, now, Bamford, this is the part where you type in my background? Did you get the pamphlet I sent you? Make sure to mention my war service. Who cares which one? They’re all the same when you’re fighting the Kaiser. Oh, and I spent a period of time making my own pickles, they’ll want to know that. Make up some sort of philanthropic pursuits and we’re golden.

Winnifred Headshot

Winnifred May Buckford Westington Washington Kleppler (Black Sheep): Burned down our mansion a couple of years ago. Any other noteworthy achievements pale in comparison.

 

Elson HeadshotElson Jozef Buckford Westington Taylor (Former Failure) Muffy’s nephew; was bankrupt four times over but now runs a moderately successful donut franchise. Accompanied the Russians to the bachelor party last year and hasn’t been quite right ever since.

 

Clive Headshot

Clive Norman Shenderson: Muffy’s nephew. Painfully normal.

 

 

Arianna-HeadshotArianna Smythecutt Buckford-Westington: Hadley’s oft-inebriated ex-wife. A torrential blend of social graces and blind, irrepressible rage, Arianna has been rated a “must-have” at society events by Moneypants Monthly for four of the past five years. Coincidentally enough, the Moneypants editor for the year she wasn’t chosen has yet to be seen again since.

Ward-HeadshotWard Gilbert Buckford-Westington: The only man of the cloth in the entire family, and thus our default Master of Religious Ceremonies. Come to think of it, nobody’s quite sure which cloth in particular he is a man of, but one thing is for certain: it’s a fancy one with a high thread count.

 

Vladimir-HeadshotVladimir Akulov “Volodya” Buzulkladinov: Married into the family and brought his whole family along with him. We’re not sure if the citizenship is quite finalized for all of them, but they’re good company and brought their vodka, so all is well.

 

Lark-HeadshotLark Emerson Smythecutt Dawahare: College roommate and general hanger-on of some descendent or other. Currently living in our East Wing while she gets her career as a poet off the ground. An expensive occupation, if the family expense bill is to be believed.


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